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Old 2022-03-11, 11:43   #1200
xilman
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Another old Russian joke which is just as applicable today.

Moscow man buys a newspaper, glances at the front page and throws it away.
The next day he does the same, and the next, and the next.

Eventually the newspaper vendor snaps and asks: "Why do you keep doing that?"
"Oh, I am just checking for an obituary."
"But obituaries aren't even on the front page!"
"The one I am waiting for will be."
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Old 2022-03-11, 14:58   #1201
Dr Sardonicus
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xilman View Post
<snip>
Eventually the newspaper vendor snaps and asks: "Why do you keep doing that?"
"Oh, I am just checking for an obituary."
<snip>
This brings to mind an old military joke.

One day, a soldier begins wandering around the base. He picks up pieces of paper littering the ground. He looks at each piece he picks up, shakes his head, and mutters, "No, that's not it." Then he drops the piece of paper back on the ground.

He keeps this up, day after day, week after week. The base commander becomes concerned. He calls in a military psychologist to observe the soldier's strange behavior.

After observing the solder for some time, the psychologist tells the commander, "This man has severe mental problems. He needs to be discharged."

He fills out the paperwork, and the base commander summons the soldier to his office. He explains that he has been found mentally unfit for service, and hands him his Section 8 discharge papers.

The soldier looks at them and says, "That's it!"
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Old 2022-04-14, 16:39   #1202
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Web Surfer: I'm so relieved! I just tested all my passwords at an online site that will tell you their quality, and every one of them had a great rating!
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Old 2022-05-07, 08:04   #1203
xilman
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Old 2022-05-07, 16:20   #1204
mart_r
 
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RudeBasic V1.0 (code sample):
Code:
20 IF X<>0 THEN Z=Y/X OR ELSE!!
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Old 2022-05-21, 09:43   #1205
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Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.
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Old 2022-05-21, 10:26   #1206
xilman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mart_r View Post
Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme
But some don't even scan properly.
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Old 2022-05-25, 07:56   #1207
MattcAnderson
 
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Smile Star Wars Joke

Did you see the new Star Wars movie?
Darth Vader gets married to Ella.

She becomes Elevator.

She lifts him up!

Get it? Ella Vader
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Old 2022-05-25, 20:38   #1208
chalsall
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Two persons walk into a bar.

One says "I'll just have H2O.

The other says "I'll have H2O too.

The second person dies...
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Old 2022-05-25, 21:09   #1209
Uncwilly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by retina View Post
Two scientists walk into a bar, and decide to have a drinking contest.
The first walks up to the barmaid and says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, please."
The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, too."
The first scientist won.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chalsall View Post
Two persons walk into a bar.

One says "I'll just have H2O.

The other says "I'll have H2O too.

The second person dies...
I like the first.
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Old 2022-05-25, 21:24   #1210
chalsall
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncwilly View Post
I like the first.
Trust me to not review prior art...
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