Dumb (Jokes) Thread - Page 51

kladner · 2015-12-12, 18:01

.

petrw1 · 2015-12-16, 04:39

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two bestfriends, Cooter and Gomer.

The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley .'
The mortician thought this was rather strange.

So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up.
Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley '
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'

Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:
'There's Stanley with them two assholes.'

kladner · 2015-12-16, 16:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by petrw1

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly......

Aarrgh!

chappy · 2016-06-21, 21:45

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

xilman · 2016-06-22, 10:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by chappy

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A silly answer.

Mark Rose · 2016-06-22, 19:51

I have a joke about UDP but I don't know if you'll get it.

ixfd64 · 2016-06-22, 20:38

I once tried to eat a clock, but it was very time-consuming.

Fusion_power · 2016-06-22, 21:29

It hits home when it really happened.

There is a place called Red Bank Tennessee.
There is a bank in Red Bank called the Bank of Red Bank.
There is a nearby community called Long Branch.
So the Bank of Red Bank
opened a branch in Long Branch.
And they called it the Long Branch Branch of the Red Bank Bank.

xilman · 2016-06-22, 22:04

Another real example: in the third month of each year, a walk is organized which starts Cambridge and ends in the small town of March to the north.

It is, of course, known as the March March march.

petrw1 · 2016-06-23, 15:08

Unsure whether you want to book a lunch date on Native American land is a:

Reservation reservation reservation

science_man_88 · 2016-06-23, 15:31

why'd the murphy punch the french guy ? because he always called him de murphy male ( demure female)

how do you calm down or enrage a overbearing macphee male ? tell him no matter what he thinks he's the son of two females ( either a phee male and a female, a phee male and an another phee male or two females)

2015-12-12, 18:01	#551
kladner "Kieren" Jul 2011 In My Own Galaxy! 11×13×71 Posts	. Attached Thumbnails

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2015-12-16, 04:39	#552
petrw1 1976 Toyota Corona years forever! "Wayne" Nov 2006 Saskatchewan, Canada 13×349 Posts	Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two bestfriends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.' The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley .' The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.' The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley ' The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.' 'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician. 'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: 'There's Stanley with them two assholes.'

2016-06-21, 21:45	#554
chappy "Jeff" Feb 2012 St. Louis, Missouri, USA 1157₁₀ Posts	What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

2016-06-22, 19:51	#556
Mark Rose "/X\(‘-‘)/X\" Jan 2013 29×101 Posts	I have a joke about UDP but I don't know if you'll get it.

2016-06-22, 20:38	#557
ixfd64 Bemusing Prompter "Danny" Dec 2002 California 2·11·107 Posts	I once tried to eat a clock, but it was very time-consuming.

2016-06-22, 21:29	#558
Fusion_power Aug 2003 Snicker, AL 7×137 Posts	It hits home when it really happened. There is a place called Red Bank Tennessee. There is a bank in Red Bank called the Bank of Red Bank. There is a nearby community called Long Branch. So the Bank of Red Bank opened a branch in Long Branch. And they called it the Long Branch Branch of the Red Bank Bank.

2016-06-22, 22:04	#559
xilman Bamboozled! "𒉺𒌌𒇷𒆷𒀭" May 2003 Down not across 2·3·1,753 Posts	Another real example: in the third month of each year, a walk is organized which starts Cambridge and ends in the small town of March to the north. It is, of course, known as the March March march.

2016-06-23, 15:08	#560
petrw1 1976 Toyota Corona years forever! "Wayne" Nov 2006 Saskatchewan, Canada 13·349 Posts	Unsure whether you want to book a lunch date on Native American land is a: Reservation reservation reservation

2016-06-23, 15:31	#561
science_man_88 "Forget I exist" Jul 2009 Dumbassville 2⁶×131 Posts	why'd the murphy punch the french guy ? because he always called him de murphy male ( demure female) how do you calm down or enrage a overbearing macphee male ? tell him no matter what he thinks he's the son of two females ( either a phee male and a female, a phee male and an another phee male or two females)