Official "419 Scam-Mail" Thread

[Uncwilly]

Originally Posted by Orgasmic Troll

.

Maybe you mean:

[Spherical Cow]

I got one (which I'll look for later) in which the sender forgot to include the word "million" after the "Twenty-seven (27)", and he was offering me a full 30% of 27 dollars. Now that's an enticing offer.

Norm

[ewmayer]

Originally Posted by Spherical Cow

I got one (which I'll look for later) in which the sender forgot to include the word "million" after the "Twenty-seven (27)", and he was offering me a full 30% of 27 dollars. Now that's an enticing offer.

That depends -- Would those be Australian, Barbados, Bermudan, Canadian, Eastern Caribbean, Fijian, Hong Kong, Jamaican, New Zealand, Singaporean, Taiwan, Trinidad&Tobago or US dollars?

Also, did you consider the tax implications of accepting such an offer?

You can just never be too careful.

[Uncwilly]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

That depends -- Would those be Australian, Barbados, Bermudan, Canadian, Eastern Caribbean, Fijian, Hong Kong, Jamaican, New Zealand, Singaporean, Taiwan, Trinidad&Tobago or US dollars?

Are you sure that wasn't "doll hairs"? 27.000.00 doll hairs is a huge ma/ess.

[moo]

we need
http://www.billshackelford.com/home/...io_spamtra_826

[ewmayer]

Things are getting better all the time -- this one offers me (a.k.a. TRUSTWORTHY FOREIGN INDIVIDUAL) the standard 60/40 split, but we're now up to $34.5 million - do you think I should hold out for more, or might that appear a tad greedy?

This one is interesting in that the sender does so far as to admit that the scheme he proposes "will smack of unethical practice" - anyone that honest deserves to be trusted with my confidential banking information, I'd say.

Other completely nonsuspicious elements:

- Guy deposits $30 million with bank, they don't ask for any next-of-kin information
- His capacity as the branch manager allows him to ensure that the phony next-of-kin designation will go through, but he somehow lacks the wherewithal to set up a shell account of his own. (Or maybe that would "smack of unethical practice" ... yeah, that's the ticket, it's his conscience keeping him from doing that.)

Various interesting (but entirely non-suspicious) turns of phrase underlined for your abusement, or something:

Reply-To: zhuli_1976@yahoo.com.hk
From: ZHU LI <zhuli-55@hotmail.com>
Subject: URGENT BUSINESS TRANSACTION
Date: Mon, 14 May 2007 18:37:06 +0000
Importance: Normal

Something this URGENT, but you only mark the e-mail with "Normal" priority? C'mon, man, I almost missed this ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY as a result!

Dear Associate,

Thank you for giving me your time. Please be patient and read my email to you.

I am presently the manager of the Bank of China, Shenzhen branch. Prior to this
position, I was attached to Private Banking services. I am contacting you
concerning an investment placed under our banks management 4 years ago; you are
contacted independently out of investigation in the bank. I would like to
intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.

In the year 1998, a certain client name (withheld) came to our bank to engage in
business discussions with our Private Banking Services Department. He informed
us that he had a financial portfolio of 30 million United States dollars, which
he wished to have us invest on his behalf. I was the officer assigned to his
case; I then proceeded to provide numerous suggestions and advice in line with
my duties as the de-facto Chief Operations officer of the Private Banking
Services Department, especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into
our bank. We met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I
encouraged him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored
route in my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 600 traditional
stocks and bond managers and alternative investments. Based on my advice, we
spun the money around various opportunities and made very attractive profits
margins during our first months of operation; the accrued profit and interest at
this point stood at over 34.5 million United States dollars. He desired low risk
and guaranteed returns on investments, and as such we could not utilize the full
potential of the funds.

On November 6, 2001, he requested disinvestments and directed that the funds be
deposited in a Fixed (Numbered) Deposit account in my branch for 12 calendar
months. His instructions were precisely followed to the latter and all the funds
recalled from the active market and deposited.

Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got
no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his
contract employers, the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation that he died from an
automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without
making a WILL and all attempts to trace his next of kin were fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that he did not declare
any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit
paperwork in my Bank. This money is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is
being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will
ever come forward to claim it.
According to Laws of Republic of China, at the expiration of 6 (six) years, the
money will revert to the ownership of the Chinese Government if nobody applies
to claim the fund.

And here I'm so ignorant that I actually thought "Republic of China" referred to Taiwan, not mainland China - dagnabbit, learn something new every day. Mr. Zhu, geographically ignorant (albeit TRUSTWORTHY) foreigner that I am, I feel entirely unworthy of the trust you are placing in me.

What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I want you to
understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the
internal politics of the banking world aberrational.
The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for those
who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You should have begun
by now to put together the general direction of what I am proposing.

Um ... a date? Sight-unseen green-card marriage? A scheme to scalp Cubs tickets? Sorry, I may be TRUSTWORTHY but I'm also really DENSE, so you'd better spell it out for me.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as
the next of kin to the man so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not
get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will
like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney
will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place
as the next of kin.

Not that a tragically-deceased Chinese man with a next-of-kin named "Ernst Mayer" would ever arouse suspicion, mind you.

We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and tarization of the
WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration
in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world that you
will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the
beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to
share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done
by the attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful
execution of this transaction.

So what do you need me for? Oh, that's right, I am after all the indispensible TRUSTWORTHY FOREIGN INDIVIDUAL.

If you are interested, please reply immediately to this email zhuli_1976@yahoo.com.hk

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no
interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I am not doing
anything against good conscience. I know that this may be hard for you to
understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such
opportunities only come once in a lifetime.

Not to me, they don't -- I get a couple a week, at least.

I am a family man and this is an
opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this
project and it is a task worth Undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the
only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank.
I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with
a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share
the blessing.

So my name really translates into Chinese as "Seed of the Center of Relevance"? Coool...

Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a
meeting, soon. Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this
transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your
assistance to invest my share in your country.

Well, Zhu, I'm no branch manager - I'm merely a TRUSTWORTHY FOREIGN INDIVIDUAL - but I gotta tell you, I'm not sure if my country is all that great an investment right now. You'd probably get higher returns from investing in an emerging markets fund ... Asia, maybe? But I'll tell you what - once I have the $34.5 mil in my account, I'd be happy to invest your 60% in some appropriate vehicle, and split the profits with you ... 60/40 sound OK? Of course to do this without arousing suspicion the funds would have to remain in my name. I'm sure you understand.

Thanks and regards.

Zhu Li.

[Cruelty]

Originally Posted by moo

we need
http://www.billshackelford.com/home/...io_spamtra_826

Perpetuum mobile?

[ewmayer]

Dang -- Ouagadougou (I just love saying that -- and funny how all the e-mail senders spell it in all caps every time) is just awash in unclaimed millions these days - kin-less American foreigners and their entire families are just a'dyin' like flies in one horrific series of accidents and plane crashes. Tragic, just tragic.

Anyway, who gets this one? I'm busy dealing with the paperwork for offer #1 above, and don't want to be greedy. First come, first served. What, no takers? Alright then...as the saying goes, "Once more unto her breeches, my friends," or something.

Reply-To: bello_tanja1951@yahoo.fr
From: "bello tanja" <bello_tanja243@hotmail.fr>
Subject: I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY CONFIDENTIAL PLEASE
Date: Thu, 17 May 2007 14:53:38 +0000

FROM THE DESK OF DR.BELLO TANJA
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)

Hey, you wouldn't happen to know anyone in the AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK, would you? They're right down the street from you...

OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.
BANK WEBSITE:www.bkofafrica.net

Wow, a real website! As it says:

La BANK OF AFRICA - BURKINA FASO, ouverte en mars 1998, compte aujourd’hui 97 collaborateurs.

Elle dispose d’un réseau constitué de cinq agences : à Ouagadougou (Agence Centrale, Kwame N'Krumah, Gounghin), Bobo-Dioulasso et Koupela.

I don't speak French, but that sounds pretty trustworthy to me. Hey, if you managed to sponsor a mission to Mars in 1998 despite having to arrest 97 collaborators, you must have your act together, I say.

Dear Friend,

I am the manager of auditing and accounting department of BANK OF AFRICA
(B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an
abandoned sum of US$20.5m dollars (Twenty Million Five Hundred Thousand US
dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR.
RICHARD BURSON from Florida, U.S.A)

He's not related to that billionaire playboy who owns Virgin-Airways/Record-Stores/Virgins-Everywhere, is he? No wonder he was loaded.

who died along with his entire family on
November 1999 in a plane crash.For more informations about the crash you can
visit this site: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/502503.stm

Tragic, just tragic. Tragic, horrible death ... it's just so horribly tragic, isn't it? (Not to mention deadly.)

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of
kin to come over and claim his money because we can not release it unless
some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws

I thought you said his whole family died, too? Wouldn't that render your bank's guidliness about the next-of-kindlings mute, or do the gundalings include special clausets about unexpectorated next-of-kindliness?

but unfortunately we learnt that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the
plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

Ah, OK -- you had me worried there, BELLO, my friend -- I don't mean to sound paranoid, but (and keep this between us, or as the French say, "entre nous") there are a few bad people out there who send letters like your (but fake ones!) to try to scam people out of their money -- unbelievable, I know -- anyway, it's inconsistencies like that that usually tip one off. But you cleared things up nicely.

It is therefore upon this
discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you,so that
the money can be release to you as the next of kin or relation to the
deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody will come for
it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed
dormant fund.

Yes, dormant is very bad -- except when it comes to volcanoes, ha ha ha!!! (I love that joke)

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained
unclaimed after eight years the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed dormant fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin
in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a
foreigner and a Burkinabe like me can not stand as next of kin to a
foreigner.

"Foreigner" or "Floridian"? Ah, what's the diff...so I assume a Californian-abe who is a TRUSTWORTHY INDIVIDUAL like me will suffice? You honor me, sir.

I agreed that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision of a foriegn account ,10% will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the business and 60% would be for me.

Well, see , I hate to come off as a niggler (note the "L" in there -- wouldn't want to be accused of being a horrible virulent racist now, would I! Especially you being African, that might not be helpful, eh?), but my standard agreement is a 60/40 split (see letter from your colleague above). Tell you what - you buy your own plane ticket, and I'll handle the "disbursement expenses" (or was it the "dispensement exburses"? "Dispersal experiments", perhaps? I can never keep those latinate conjugals straight.) I can use a fedEx envelope from work to keep our costs down here. I that works for you, then we got a deal.

Thereafter, I will visit your
country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated

Don't forget to visit Disneyland while you're here!

Therefore, to
enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must apply
first to the bank as relation or next of kin to the deceased customer with a
text of application that i will send to you,but before i send to you the
text of application form,I will like you to send me the following
informatios

Here, again by way of expediting things, I'll just fill the form out online:

1.NAME IN FULL:........ I. M. Credulous
2.ADDRESS:............. Most people just call me "Mr. C."
3.NATIONALITY:......... USA all the way, baby! Love it or leave it, pinko hippies!
4.AGE:................. 18 or above -- if you don't believe me, just ask my porn provider
5.Sex.................. Not as frequent as I'd like, but pretty kinky when it does happen
6.OCCUPATION:.......... I certify that my country of NATIONALITY is currently occupying Iraq, Afghanistan, and several other unspecified nations, all of which are in dire need of democratic values
7.MARTIAL STATUS:...... 1st-degree black belt in Tang Soo Do - I hope that's martial enough
8.PRIAVTE PHONE NO..... I don't own a Priavte, mine's a Kyocera. Hope that's OK.
9.PRIVATE FAX NO:...... Oh, let's not let some ugly Fax stand between us - so wasteful of paper!

so i will like you to send to me those informations for easy and effective
communication.

There you go! Isn't the internet wonderful? Like billions of others, I'm so grateful to Al Gore for having invented it.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of
the application form.I will not fail to bring to your notice that this
transaction is hitch-free

But I *want* to marry your daughter, as proof of the trustworthiness of our transaction. Besides, young Miss Ikgeiwingganmddefjdouguousrehetre (I just call her "Icky," she loves that) is a lovely girl, she deserves a rich man - like you're going to make me - to sweep her off her lovely Burkinabian feet.

and that you should not entertain any atom of fear
as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should
contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter,if only you are
intrested and ready to help.

Atom of fear? Wouldn't think of it. Not even a quark-gluon-plasmon of fear shall dissuade me, my friend.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours Faithfully,
DR.BELLO TANJA
MANAGER AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT
BANK OF AFRICA

[ewmayer]

Date: Mon, 21 May 2007 17:14:23 +0200 (CEST)
From: Francis Kouame <kouamefran@yahoo.com>
Reply-To: kouamefrans@yahoo.com
Subject: Dear Friend,

Yes, what's on your mind, my dear sweet snoogums?

I am Mr. Francis Kouame the foreign operations director with one of
the leading security company in Abidjan/ (Cote D’ivoire).I need your
services in a confidential matter regarding consignment out of a family
beneficiary deposit as family valuables in my country as such I decided
to establish contact with you for assistance This requires a private
arrangement, as you will come for the claim with the back-up documents
which i will privately forwards to you.

Someone's having problems with the family jewels, eh? I'm glad you had the good judgment to contact me (as I am clearly a world-renowned specialist in matters pertaining family jewels) confidentially, and thus to keep such private matters confidential, privately.

However, this consignment was deposited by one of our client (late Mr.
Steve Ashworth) which contained sum of (12.5 million United States
dollars).According to information’s i gathered from police; the
depositor and His wife were shot dead by unknown gunmen. Unfortunately,
they were childless.

Shot by unknown gunmen who were unfortunately childless ... just terrible. That might explain what led them to commit such a desperate act, but if they are unknown, how is it known that they are childless? Were they trying to steal your dear departed family-jewel-depositing client's children?

It's all very unfortunate, but I need guidance in re. for whom I should shed my tears here.

Since then no one has shown up for the claim of
this consignment. Although he declared this consignment as family
valuables and no members of our staffs knows the real content in the
consignment.

But you just said the consignment contained the "sum of (12.5 million United States dollars)." Or did you mean that's the *value* of the consigment, but you don't know what's actually *in* the consignment? Admirably trustworthy on your part. We in the western world should learn from your example, and stop thinking that people are constantly trying to rip us off.

As foreign operations director still working under the company

You mean you *still* haven't finished digging those tunnels? Hit some bedrock, eh?

i do not stand the chance of claiming the consignment since I am still
working under the company.

Yes, we got that. Tunneling to Java, and all that.

Please, i want you to come for the claim of
this consignment. The Money will be shared in the ratio: Fifty percent
(50%) for me, Forty five percent (45%) for you, and the remaining five
(5%) will be added to your share for expenses during the claims include
both our telephone bills.

That is even better than my standard 60/40 split (the 40 being my share, obviously) - you are most generous, my dear friend. You know, though, if we both use an internet phone service like Skype, we can save that added 5% overhead. US$625,000 will buy a lot of Skype minutes, ha ha! (Take that, Verizon!)

I will expect a straight answer from you.

Best regards.
Francis Kouame.

Well, I must say, there's no reason for any homophobia - you can see from my previous posting above that I am in fact to be engaged to one Miss IKGEIWINGGANMDDEFJDOUGUOUSREHETRE TANJA, currently residing in OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO, and daughter of DR.BELLO TANJA, the AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER of the BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A), OUAGADOUGOU branch, BURKINA FASO. Would I engage in such an, um, engagement, if I weren't a straight guy? For heaven's sake, man, that would be tantamount to committing fraud!

[ewmayer]

Yes, you heard it here first: DR. BELLO TANJA (see post #19 above) is apparently out as the head AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER of the B.O.A. -- I just got this letter from his replacement:

Reply-To: ahmed_issa00027@hotmail.com
From: ahmed issa <ahmed_issa00027@hotmail.com>
Subject: =?windows-1256?Q?_URGENT_RESPOND=FE_?=
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007 18:49:07 +0000

DEAR FRIEND,

I KNEW THIS MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE.

Well ... let's just say the content not so much as the shocking ouster of your predecessor, with whom I had a good working relationship, and whose lovely daughter I was (and hopefully still am, but there's the question of the dowry) engaged to marry.

I AM AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANEGER IN AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB), OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

Congratulations on your appointment ... but a spell-checker wouldn't hurt, you know.

I HOPED THAT YOU WILL NOT EXPOSE OR BETRAY THIS TRUST AND CONFIDENT THAT I AM ABOUT TO IMPOSE ON YOU FOR THE MUTUAL BENEFIT OF OUR FAMILIES.

Agree about the "impose on" part. As for the family-values angle, my cat (and future bride) both appreciate your concern.

I NEED YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF (USD$14.5) MILLION TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN 10 TO 17 BANKING DAYS.

OK, well, just PayPal me or FedEx a check, and I'll cash it. No problemo.

THIS MONEY HAS BEEN DORMANT YEARS IN OUR BANK WITHOUT ANY BODY CLAIMING THE FUND.

Ah, alas it's not going to be as simple as sending a check, eh? But first, have any live people tried to claim it? Ha, ha, I really got you there, Ahmed! (Also, is it pronounced Ahhhhh-med, like ending a prayer when you've got a stuffy nose, or the phlegmy Accccchhhhh-med variant? I need to know what type of cold remedy I should buy - one for stuffy nose, or one for phlegm and mucus.)

I WANT THE BANK TO RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEAREST PERSON TO OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER (THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT) DIED ALONG WITH HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN IN AN AIR CRASH SINCE JULY, 2000.

"Since July 2000" doesn't really narrow it down much, does it? But hey, what's a vague 7-year air-traffic-accident window between TRUSTing FRIENDs, right?

I DON'T WANT THE MONEY TO GO INTO OUR BANK TREASURER ACCOUNT AS AN ABANDONED FUND. SO THIS IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT THE BANK CAN RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED CUSTOMER.

A novel pitch, to be sure.

PLEASE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO KEEP THIS PROPOSAL AS A TOP SECRET AND DELETE IT IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED.

Would it be acceptable to keep it as my #2 secret? You see, I was kinda hoping to keep my dark TV-sitcom-related "Everybody but Ernst Loves Raymond" as #1. I'm sure you understand my omerta priorities here, Africa being so close to Sicily and all.

UPON RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL GIVE YOU FULLDETAILS ON HOW THE BUSINESS WILL BE EXECUTED AND ALSO NOTE THAT YOU WILL HAVE 30% OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED SUM IF YOU AGREE TO HANDLE THIS BUSINESS WITH ME. AND 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT ARISES ON THE PROCESS BEFORE THE FUND GET INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT SUCH AS TELEPHONE CALLS BILLS (ETC).

Sorry, see the above posts about my standard 40% fee. Due to my great experience in these types of transactions, I'm very good at keeping expenses down, so just add the 10% to my share and I'll take care of expenses, okay? Just set yourself up with a Skype account or send me your phone number, and we're good to roll. You already got my e-mail address.

I LOOKING FORWARD RECEIVING YOUR RETURN MAIL OR CALLING.

BEST REGARD.
MR.AHMED ISSA
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANEGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.
URGENT RESPOND

I must go now, gotta see if my engagement to one Miss IKGEIWINGGANMDDEFJDOUGUOUSREHETRE TANJA, currently residing in OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO, and daughter of DR.BELLO TANJA, the (former) AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER of the BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A), OUAGADOUGOU branch, BURKINA FASO is still on, or not. Back in a jiffy with all the TOP SECRET prenuptial intrigues which are sure to arise due to her father having lost his job. I hope he can still pay the dowry he promised me...

[Uncwilly]

Got one this weekend that is supposedly from Europe.