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Old 2020-07-29, 21:18   #1002
xilman
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A Roman Catholic priest, a Protestant minister and a rabbit walk in to a blood bank.

The rabbit says: I think I am a type O.
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Old 2020-07-29, 22:35   #1003
ewmayer
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A few minutes later in walks a fellow wearing a dark trench coat with collar pulled up as high as it will go, dark sunglasses, and holding a large black umbrella overhead even though it's a sunny day out. He carefully folds the umbrella, strolls up to the reception desk, and says "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please."

Last fiddled with by ewmayer on 2020-07-29 at 22:36
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Old 2020-08-03, 03:10   #1004
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I try to watch my language, but the invisibility of sound waves makes it impossible.
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Old 2020-08-06, 15:13   #1005
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A store worker fought off a robber with a labeling gun.

The police are looking for a bald man with a price on his head.
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Old 2020-08-11, 16:37   #1006
xilman
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Did you know it takes 20 babies to make one litre of baby oil?
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Old 2020-08-11, 20:36   #1007
kladner
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xilman View Post
A Roman Catholic priest, a Protestant minister and a rabbit walk in to a blood bank.

The rabbit says: I think I am a type O.
Argh!
EDIT:

Quote:
Did you know it takes 20 babies to make one litre of baby oil?
As above.

Last fiddled with by kladner on 2020-08-11 at 20:38
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Old 2020-08-11, 22:33   #1008
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Never have exactly 18 people participating in a house party because Covid-19 may turn out to be your unwanted 19th guest.
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Old 2020-08-13, 19:18   #1009
xilman
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The soul of a recently deceased person was rising up to heaven when it passed an eagle flying by. "Ah, eagle", it said.

The eagle was too polite to reply.
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Old 2020-08-29, 14:10   #1010
petrw1
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Lmao 🀣🀣 xx

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It was getting dark and they are far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to make love to us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
A little while later...
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way He cannot follow us both.
The man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrived at the convent and was worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrived.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,
Say two Hail Marys! 🀣🀣
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Old 2020-08-29, 18:46   #1011
LaurV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by petrw1 View Post
Say two Hail Marys! 🀣🀣
Nope. The only illogical thing is, if SL ran as fast as she could, how come SM arrived first to the convent?
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Old 2020-08-29, 19:10   #1012
xilman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by petrw1 View Post
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
A shaggy dog version of one of the old "Confucius he say ..." series which have been going around for at least 50 years.
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