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Old 2020-11-25, 02:30   #1068
Uncwilly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richs View Post
The number 2020 slowly pushes back its chair, stands up, and says to its buddies, "Hold my beer."
Little know fact: 2020 is 13 x 666
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Old 2020-11-25, 11:49   #1069
Viliam Furik
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncwilly View Post
Little know fact: 2020 is 13 * 666
Got me for a moment here...

It is 2*2*5*101, which I consider nice, because of the huge gap in the size of prime factors.
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Old 2020-11-26, 12:47   #1070
AJensen89
 
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A woman gets on the bus with her baby. The driver says,
"Wow, this is the ugliest kid I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down in a rage. She says to the man next to her,
"The driver just insulted me!" The man says:
“Go there and scold him. Come on, I'll hold your monkey. "
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Old 2020-11-27, 01:15   #1071
Dr Sardonicus
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AJensen89 View Post
A woman gets on the bus with her baby. The driver says,
"Wow, this is the ugliest kid I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down in a rage. She says to the man next to her,
"The driver just insulted me!" The man says:
“Go there and scold him. Come on, I'll hold your monkey. "
Another version:

A woman is riding on a train with her baby, and the passenger sitting next to her says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry for saying it, but that is the ugliest kid I have ever seen."

The woman is furious. She yells, Conductor! The Conductor comes at once. She tells him "This man insulted me! I don't want to sit next to him any more!"

The Conductor says, "Come with me." He finds her a new seat, and says, "If you have any more trouble, you be sure and let me know. And how about if I get you a nice cup of coffee? I can even get a banana for your monkey."
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Old 2020-12-09, 14:38   #1072
EdH
 
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"Honey, I know you're on the way home. Be careful! The news says there's a car going the wrong way on the Interstate."

"A car! They're ALL going the wrong way!"
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Old 2020-12-09, 20:14   #1073
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Two men were sitting in a park, when a small truck carrying sod goes by.

The first says to the second, "That's what I'm going to do when I get rich: send my lawn off to get mowed!"
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Old 2020-12-31, 16:46   #1074
EdH
 
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"OK, I'm HERE! But, this is the LAST straw! I've GOT to let you know that I'm just NOT going on with the wedding. I guess I really don't love you. Now, WHAT is so IMPORTANT that I just HAVE to have lunch with you today?"

"I won the Lottery!"
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Old 2021-01-03, 15:52   #1075
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xyzzy View Post
$50 is for a hard drive for mersenne.ca's server.
... installed no doubt using the command mountie...
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Old 2021-01-03, 16:50   #1076
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Ugh, just realized that next year will be 2020, too (2022).
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Old 2021-01-07, 19:08   #1077
EdH
 
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"The news just said there's a snow storm on its way and everyone is supposed to park their cars on the odd numbered side of the street overnight. Can you help me remember to do that?"

"If it was me, I'd just leave it in the garage!"
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Old 2021-01-08, 05:11   #1078
Mark Rose
 
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Lizards are just four wheel drive snakes.
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