what is the purpose of my life ?

[science_man_88]

Originally Posted by CRGreathouse

I guess I've been out of school too long, because I can't imagine someone taking more than 60 seconds on that, even doing 'everything' wrong.

I can I tried it and had to fix a few things along the way even though I know the answers the formulas or copying them seemed to elude me.

[science_man_88]

Originally Posted by a1call

Someone I knew had a grade 3 education, and he just happened to end up the GM of a very big corporation.

Hey SM,
I will tell you what I have been thinking about lately.
In have been trying to come up with a formula that yields a not too large integer which is highly divisible. As such it works be useful in in CFDv factoring.
Check this out m = a-small-primorial and n = a power of 2
In the formula
for (i=1,m,p =n^i ), you get an integer which factors into lots of primes. It is similar to a factorial but not as exhaustive or as large. If I could come up with a range based formula to set the concentration range of the primes, I'd have something.
What do you think.

is the closest my mind gets right now without much searching there are properties these numbers have.

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by CRGreathouse

I guess I've been out of school too long, because I can't imagine someone taking more than 60 seconds on that, even doing 'everything' wrong.

Welcome to my world.

A friend of mine mentioned "rainbows", which involves lipstick. I don't want to go into the details, but I really want to go back to school....

[science_man_88]

and to a1call again is the continuation of that last one. just found this one myself.

[a1call]

Cool stuff, thank you so much SM.
I hope you are feeling better.
Just try to take it easy, if it gets too rough you can always escape to the world of integers like I do sometimes.

[Jayder]

May I ask what city you are in, science_man? PM me if you like.

CGPGrey just put out a video that I really enjoyed. Perhaps you will get something out of it:

[ewmayer]

What is the purpose of your life? Besides 'to crush yahr enemies, see zem driven befoah you, and hear ze lamentations of zayr vimmin', you mean?

Maybe this is one reason having a pet is a good idea - even on the most meaningless-seeming day, ya still gotta feed the cat (or dog). And the cat (or dog) will surely appreciate you making that your purpose in life, even if just for the few minutes it takes.

Some people also recommend growing things - so perhaps the best way to find purpose in one's own life is to tend to other living things, be they friends, relatives, colleagues, animal pals or garden plants.

[Nick]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

I just don't care to work at my job placement anymore if the people they are supposed to be training think you are to slow they rush you etc. it just doesn't work for me. if they think you should be happy to get a training allowance they will mention that in an argument against you not wanting it ( only reason I needed it at all was to pay for the transportation to get there while not receiving my transportation cost on income assistance). I guess I don't see it as a training place I see it more as a train wreck that's not giving me the employability skills I wanted to get from it). so I get to go there and barely survive the day without exploding at the people there which is not exactly a good way to live.edit: and between that and having no good jobs without degrees and until I break over 21000 a year in pretax earnings not getting off the system making experienced minimum wage be 2.48 an hour before drycleaning cost etc. that they can legally take from your pay.

Originally Posted by science_man_88

it's via an employment support contract other than not showing up there's probably not much I can do.

I don't know exactly how it works in your country, but if I were in your situation here then I could go to my doctor and get a sick note for a time-out from work and possibly some temporary medication or counselling for the problems.

Not being able to find work that fits your skills and interests can be enormously frustrating. I do hope the situation improves for you soon.

[Brian-E]

Science Man, a crucial question in my mind is whether you are able to talk to anyone in your real life about everything that's going on. And I mean really talk to that person and not have them immediately fire back their own snap "solutions" to your troubles and end the conversation. If you have someone in your life that you trust and who really listens to you, then that is ideal.

But it's likely that you don't. Really good listeners who have the time to spend listening to you are rare. Unless you are lucky, you are probably dealing with your troubles largely by yourself. And talking about them here online, while it may have some value for you, is just too limiting in its nature to be any substitute for face-to-face conversation.

Which is where Nick's suggestion above of counselling comes in. A professional who is there solely to listen to you and support you can be the way forward. I wonder if you've ever tried that before. If you have, I wonder if the counsellor in question "clicked" with you and did their job well enough to give you any real help (quite often it doesn't work with one counsellor and changing to a different one may make the difference).

As Nick says, your doctor should be able to refer you for counselling if, in your doctor's opinion, that would indeed be helpful.

[science_man_88]

Originally Posted by Brian-E

As Nick says, your doctor should be able to refer you for counselling if, in your doctor's opinion, that would indeed be helpful.

my family doctor is a 2 hour bus ride each way. and the closest thing to counselling I've had was school councilors or the psychologist that diagnosed me with Asperger's last year or the year before ( confirmed diagnosis at least in their eyes).

[only_human]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

my family doctor is a 2 hour bus ride each way. and the closest thing to counselling I've had was school councilors or the psychologist that diagnosed me with Asperger's last year or the year before ( confirmed diagnosis at least in their eyes).

Your mission today, if you choose to accept it, is to say at least one nice thing about yourself.

I'll start the ball rolling. Not only are you an intelligent person interested in mathematics and science but when you think about mathematics you often show the work you have done, for example in pari, etc.

You are going through a rough patch and I'm not good for giving advice since I have issues that I don't cope well with, myself.

What I want you to do is let yourself be nicer to yourself. Even if in some small minor way.

When my sweetheart would criticize herself, say, after dropping something, I would tell her to stop. The negative judgment sticks a little too much and isn't how I saw her and not how I wanted her to see herself.

So I'm asking you to try to give yourself a break. The situation around you is frustrating and discouraging, I think from some of the things you've said here lately but that is not the whole picture. You are part of the picture and you are worthy of treating yourself well.

Hack your feelings a bit. Some of what you do have control over is how you feel about things. Just let yourself relax a bit. Let yourself have a break.

At least keep talking to us here. When my girlfriend died I was fortunate enough to have some therapy and based on what my therapist told me I spoke about it here. It was raw and unpolished but I mentioned it here among people who've known me in some way over the years just as we're in a similar position regarding speaking to you.

So as hard as it gets, talk about it here some. Seek a little comfort or acknowledgment here. There are other, more professional things to consider and do as best you can but take a deep breath, look around and jot down a thought or two here in this small corner of the hello-world world.

Respectfully,
Ross Schiff