Dumb (Jokes) Thread - Page 97

xilman · 2020-11-13, 12:21

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs.

Dr Sardonicus · 2020-11-14, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by xilman

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash ~~some mugs~~ my slippers.

"...and my feet are cold."

xilman · 2020-11-14, 15:36

https://twitter.com/Chiclanagirl/sta...40147017101324

EdH · 2020-11-14, 15:51

Hitchhiker: When you picked me up, weren't you a bit concerned I might be a serial killer?
Driver: Nah! The odds are extremely low that we'd both be.

kladner · 2020-11-15, 20:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdH

Hitchhiker: When you picked me up, weren't you a bit concerned I might be a serial killer?
Driver: Nah! The odds are extremely low that we'd both be.

Dr Sardonicus · 2020-11-16, 01:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdH

Hitchhiker: When you picked me up, weren't you a bit concerned I might be a serial killer?
Driver: Nah! The odds are extremely low that we'd both be.

Nice alternative version of the urban legend known as "The Vanishing Hitchhiker."

kladner · 2020-11-16, 02:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Sardonicus

Nice alternative version of the urban legend known as "The Vanishing Hitchhiker."

On the subject of hitchhikers, the short story "The Deadlier Weapon" by Larry Niven addresses the imbalance of power between the driver and a passenger with a knife

Quote:

Appeared in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, June 1968. A rare non-SF Niven story. Car-jacking became a headline crime in the nineties, but this story about a hitch-hiker and his intended prey reminds us of something that many victims forget: The driver is in control of the deadlier weapon. Larry reassures us that it didn't actually happen to him, but the idea for the story occurred to him one day on the freeway

http://news.larryniven.net/biblio/display.asp?key=29

mart_r · 2020-11-21, 16:14

Mr Trump's behavior is absolutely unpresidented.

kladner · 2020-11-23, 20:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by mart_r

Mr Trump's behavior is absolutely unpresidented.

LaurV · 2020-11-24, 07:07

Good one! Thanks for sharing.

richs · 2020-11-25, 02:19

The positive integers have gathered for the annual numbers convention. At the opening dinner, the number 13 stands up and says, "I'm the baddest number there is. Everyone's afraid of me."

To that 666 gets up and says, "That's nothing. I'm in the Bible itself as the sign of the Apocalypse."

The number 2020 slowly pushes back its chair, stands up, and says to its buddies, "Hold my beer."

2020-11-14, 15:51	#1060
EdH "Ed Hall" Dec 2009 Adirondack Mtns 3546₁₀ Posts	Hitchhiker: When you picked me up, weren't you a bit concerned I might be a serial killer? Driver: Nah! The odds are extremely low that we'd both be. Last fiddled with by EdH on 2020-11-14 at 17:36 Reason: Because I hate forgetting a word. . .

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2020-11-13, 12:21	#1057
xilman Bamboozled! "𒉺𒌌𒇷𒆷𒀭" May 2003 Down not across 10518₁₀ Posts	I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs.

2020-11-14, 15:36	#1059
xilman Bamboozled! "𒉺𒌌𒇷𒆷𒀭" May 2003 Down not across 2×3×1,753 Posts	https://twitter.com/Chiclanagirl/sta...40147017101324

2020-11-21, 16:14	#1064
mart_r Dec 2008 you know...around... 2×311 Posts	Mr Trump's behavior is absolutely unpresidented.

2020-11-24, 07:07	#1066
LaurV Romulan Interpreter Jun 2011 Thailand 2×23×199 Posts	Good one! Thanks for sharing.

2020-11-25, 02:19	#1067
richs "Rich" Aug 2002 Benicia, California 2×5×7×17 Posts	The positive integers have gathered for the annual numbers convention. At the opening dinner, the number 13 stands up and says, "I'm the baddest number there is. Everyone's afraid of me." To that 666 gets up and says, "That's nothing. I'm in the Bible itself as the sign of the Apocalypse." The number 2020 slowly pushes back its chair, stands up, and says to its buddies, "Hold my beer."