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Old 2020-09-05, 08:30   #1024
retina
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xilman View Post
It appears that the Russian Covid vaccine has a 50% success rate.

It was tested on Putin's daughter and Navalny.
Yes, but which one was the success?

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Old 2020-09-05, 09:06   #1025
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xilman View Post
It appears that the Russian Covid vaccine has a 50% success rate.

It was tested on Putin's daughter and Navalny.
I feel dumb when I thought that no one cared. Thank you for this gem (excellently combining two memes).

Lukashenko had a pretty dumb joke ('anecdote style') but it is lost in translation; to enjoy it you need a fairly perverse sense of humor.
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Old 2020-09-08, 12:49   #1026
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An old lady always travels the same route on a bus. Over time, she became friendly with the driver and she’d always bring him a nice little bag of peanuts. The bus driver was enjoying the nuts at first, but after a few days he said to the lady, “Come on, Mrs. Bilker, it’s really nice of you, I’m loving the peanuts, but please stop bringing me so much, have some for yourself.” “Ah, no bother young man,” laughs the old lady, “I don’t have my teeth anymore, I couldn’t eat them even if I wanted to. But I’m crazy mad for the yummy chocolate they always come coated with!”
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Old 2020-09-15, 16:21   #1027
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A man was found guilty of overusing commas. The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.
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Old 2020-09-15, 20:11   #1028
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My grief counsellor died the other day. But he was so good I didn’t give a shit.
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Old 2020-09-17, 18:27   #1029
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There was a study that said humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I think it's true, because I've never eaten a monkey.
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Old 2020-09-17, 18:42   #1030
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I once told my high school physics teacher I could jump higher than the school. He wouldn't believe me, until I told him, the school couldn't jump!
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Old 2020-09-24, 16:59   #1031
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On Monday we start Diarrhoea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.
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Old 2020-09-24, 20:39   #1032
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Old 2020-09-24, 20:42   #1033
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I hear that it runs in your genes.
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Old 2020-09-24, 21:17   #1034
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncwilly View Post
I hear that it runs in your genes.
That's congenital diarrhoea. Aka runs in the family.
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